Sunday, June 16, 2013

Three years in the making.

For the first time in three years I went OUT !!!  Not by ambulance to hospital or in a wooden box to the morgue hahaha, but in a car to a park with a friend. Since moving house in January my health has improved in small ways. When I crash it's less severe and it is happening less often. I am also able to move around my home a little easier and can stand up for longer etc. The last few weeks I have been feeling as though it might be time to test the waters and do a small outing. My chemical sensitivity and general smell sensitivity is much much worse now but I do have a pretty good carbon filter mask I can wear.

Today seemed like the perfect opportunity to try, beautiful and sunny but not hot and I woke up feeling as well as I ever can expect. My good friend Michael came and got me and I was so nervous. It felt a bit like when you are going overseas for the first time and you don't know what to expect. You have the butterfly's in  stomach and you check you locked all the doors 3 times before you leave. I got in the car and was expecting the car smell to be a problem but with my mask on it was actually ok. We drove a very short distance to a park just a couple of streets away. As we pulled over to the side of the road I could see there were some tables and chairs and swings etc. Michael parked the car and helped me out. Unfortunately the tables and chairs we to far for me to walk so instead I just sat on the grass by a big old tree. Wow! I did it .. I was outside! Amazing. It was lovely in the sun for 5 minutes or so but then I started to overheat so I moved a few feet into the shade ... still a lovely spot. We just sat and watched the birds for maybe 10 minutes by which time I started to feel tired. No desire to overdo it on my first try so it was time to return home. Michael helped me up. The walk back to the car was a little more difficult but manageable.

We drove home via a few surrounding street so I could get an idea of where I actually live. It's odd to have lived somewhere for 6 months and have no idea where you are situated and what surrounds you, so I have  a much clearer idea now.
Oh, the weirdest thing about the trip was that I wore a pair of shoes for the first time in 3 years. My feet felt really strange .... LOL

My hope now is that I don't crash tomorrow (which would not be unexpected) and next time I could go with my Mum and Dad and maybe take a picnic blanket and some lunch. What a treat that would be, for them as well as me. They have endured so much having to watch me suffer over the few years.

Things are looking up!!