Saturday, October 8, 2011

Friends



This post is mostly for my old friends but others will chronic illness will probably relate ...

People who do not respond to messages are just plain rude as far as I am concerned. I am sick of being made to feel invisible. I AM NOT INVISIBLE, I am the same person I was before I got ill, if you no longer want to be a part of my life then delete me, don't keep me on your friends list and then ignore me when I message you ...

A couple of days ago I posted the above text on Facebook. I feel that I need to explain my motives because several people have been offended. For those who responded, thinking they had done something wrong, please accept my apologies. The person that this post was directed towards has not responded. Under normal circumstances I most likely would not have posted this kind rant and rave, however it's been a very difficult week, with the death of a friend and some other very unsettling things occurring in the ME/CFS community. I guess I've been feeling more alone and isolated than usual, and yes INVISIBLE. Since getting ill two years ago I have hardly had any contact with my previous healthy circle of friends. While I understand that people are busy and time just seems to pass by it's difficult being the one who gets left behind and forgotten about.

I don't want friends to go out of their way, and I don't need people to check in with me constantly or make a huge effort to see me frequently. What I would appreciate is just to be included in friends lives in a small way, a message on Facebook asking how I am or telling you what you've been up to recently, a text message to say you are in the area can you drop in and say hello for 5 minutes. Being isolated and alone for 2 years has made me feel as though I no longer have any value or worse or anything to offer anyone. But the truth of the matter is that I am still the same person I was before I became ill. My general interests have not changed, my sense of humour is still sharp as it ever was, yes my sense of style may have slipped somewhat but I blame that on age rather than illness, ha ha ha.

It recently came to my attention that the reason many people have not been in touch, other than the fact that they are just busy people, is that they feel uncomfortable, don't know what to say or how to act etc. I totally understand this, I haven't changed but I can't deny that things about me have changed, and I know that people have difficulty knowing how to react to change. I am at the stage now with my health where and able to communicate a little more and occasionally have short visits, maybe half an hour at a time. I’d like to invite anyone that’s been absent in recent times to reconnect with me. I'm happy to explain exactly what's going on with my health, or to not talk about it, whichever makes you more comfortable. I do hope some of you will take me up on my offer, please imagine for just a second how you would feel if your job, your social life, your ability to care for yourself and all your friends were to be taken away. IT SUCKS!! Many of those things I no longer have control over, but I can still be a friend!!

What a pathetic, sad and sorry sounding post that was! Hahaha. Oh well, better to get it out than keep it in. Anyway, so the gist of the thing is please get in touch, I'd like to pick up where we left off. I may not be able to come to your gatherings or events but I’d still love to hear about them!! Listening to what my friends are up to has got to be way more interesting than what complete strangers on Dr Phil are up to !!!