Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Feeling truely blessed.


This is a hard post to write, I don’t really know where to begin. Today is the 10 year anniversary of my partner Roberts’s death. I can’t believe 10 years have passed, we were together for 10 years and yet the two spans of time in no way feel equal. Those years with Robert were undeniably the best years of my life and the memories bring me such joy.

When we first met I was 22, singing in a band and wearing pink fur hotpants. He was 32, working as a senior consultant in a town planning firm and wearing a suit and tie. We were worlds apart in pretty much all aspects of our lives and yet there was an instant connection and attraction that lead us into the most wonderful relationship. It was the huge differences that really made it work for us. Robert was stable and smart, down to earth and full of honesty and compassion whereas I was spontaneous and a risk taker. The window we provided each other into different world was fascinating for both of us and over the years we both learnt a great deal about life and love. We were the sort of couple that were joined at the hip. We usually did everything together, sleeping in on Sundays, travelling the world, working out at the gym, community work and of course the mundane stuff like grocery shopping and cleaning the house. In 10 years we had only one argument …. I really couldn’t dream of a more perfect partner and relationship.

It’s 10 years down the track now and I am the age Robert was when he died, and I am sick. The last year has been extremely difficult healthwise but there is something about my past with Robert that has really given me the strength to get through each day. He may no longer be here on this planet but he is still influencing the way I think and the way I respond to everything around me. I cannot imagine how I would be coping with my illness had he not been a part of my life for all those years. It’s odd, I can’t even explain all of this to myself but in some way Robert is making this a much easier road for me to travel.

I feel truly blessed for the time I had with him and for his memory which is with me everyday.

The photo was the last picture I ever took of him. It was taken the day before he died and it sums up his cheeky personality perfectly. This is how I remember him.