Monday, May 10, 2010
Alone (aaawww, so sad)
I'm back online (thank God). I have been offline for a over week because I was changing ISP's. I still only have a temporary connection with minimal downloads but all should be back to normal in another week. I really do feel like I am back from the dead hahaha!
It's been a really odd week for me. I have felt extremely isolated. Aside from no internet my friend Michael who along with Mum and Dad is my major support was away on holiday. I went most of the week without seeing, talking to or even texting another human being, and it wasn't nice. I realized just how dependant I now am on others. If I run out of bread or milk I can't even get some without phoning for help. I also realized that I have been getting through this just be keeping my mind to busy to notice how shitty it really is. Without internet and people to communicate with I struggled to keep busy. Some days I am just too sick to read for hours or even watch TV. I spent a lot of time just sitting or laying around thinkng ... really BAD idea!! All I could think about was what will become of me. Like I said my main support is really Michael and Mum and Dad, and all 3 have health issue etc of their own. All my other friends except one haven't made any attempt since Xmas to see me. I feel disappointed and let down but sadly not surprised. I do understand how busy life is for people but I also know that in the past when someone has really needed a hand I have made time to be a friend.
So .... what will become of me? I do feel envious of those of you who have partners and families, it must be nice to feel safe. I even thing about how nice it would be to just have a little cuddle once in a while.
OMG .... what a sad and pathetic post this is hahaha. I should say that now that my internet is back on I CAN distract myself and I do feel less alone!!! YIPPEEE!! hahaha
Oh on a serious note, what are everyones views on things like stem cell treatment??