Friday, April 16, 2010

Night terrors, dreams and things


Since I first got really sick last year I have been having odd dreams and nightmares pretty much every night. I have spoken to a few other people who have had the same experience. Perhaps there is a link for us?? Mostly the dreams are just unsettling situations that I am unable to resolve so I often wake feeling on edge or upset etc.

Last night I had a dream that I think was of real significance which is why I am bothering to mention it. In my dream I had CFS and that was the first time I have dreamt of myself that way. Up till now when I appear in my dreams I am still well and able to do everything that I used to. This morning I feel like it must signify a true acceptance of ‘the new me’. I had been thinking about my life the other day and I came to the conclusion that I was still in denial to some extent …. Well maybe now I am not!! I think it’s a good sign. I really believe that in order to be happy you have to accept yourself as you are, whatever that may be. So, yep, it’s a good thing!!

The other thing I will mention but I don’t want to dwell on is that I think I am have a relapse. I had started feeling somewhat better with doing the graded exercise and my little art projects but in the last week I have really gone down hill again and I can’t see any obvious reason for it. Each day I have just felt worse than the day before. So I will sit back and rest and see where it goes…..

8 comments:

  1. I've had vivid dreams since getting CFS but not usually nightmares or terrors. I kind of like it, actually - it's like going to the movies every night! It's really bizarre stuff, though, like when I dream about someone I haven't seen since third grade.

    After a few years, I also noticed CFS creeping into my dreams. I think you're right - it's probably a sign of acceptance. What I don't like is when I'm in the middle of a dream, and I suddenly think, "Wait, I can't do that. I have CFS. I'll crash if I do that." I prefer to dream without limitations! Flying dreams are the best...

    Sue

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  2. Oh no, poor you about the relapse. Maybe this is a response to the exercise, or stress, or just random, who knows? But I remember being told we can have long boom bust cycles as well as short ones.
    Dreams are so interesting. You could try keeping a dream log. I find it is amazing what leaps out at you when you read them back after a little time has elapsed. Mine are all about dealing with stuff - luggage, washing dishes, old clothes, toys, clearing up, tidying up - so wearing.
    You take care of yourself now . . .

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  3. I dream much more vividly now that I have CFS. Interesting, but I don't think of myself as having or not having CFS in my dreams. Maybe it has already integrated itself into my identity so it doesn't have to announce itself one way or the other.

    So sorry to hear about the relapse! It's a scary feeling, like you're slipping down a cliff and you don't know if there will miraculously be a ledge to catch you or if you will continue down to the bottom. I'm wishing the best for you, and a speedy bounce back.

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  4. No I don't dream any more than I did before either but I have a friend who became ill about the same time as me and he had terrible nightmares and night terrors to the point where he had to sleep in another room from his partner. Eventually it did all calm down however and he has gradually recovered to a point where he's back at work part-time.

    Sorry you've had a relapse. It just goes that way sometimes and apparently for no particular reason. Sometimes, however, if try and think back in detail you may to see that you have been overdoing it ?? It's so easy to do at the beginning without realising it and even when you're experienced it's hard to maintain the energy in/out balance

    Hope you feel better soon

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  5. Hi Lee, Glad to have discovered your blog, been seeing your "avatar" on many of my favorite blogs.

    Dreams--I experienced that too in the beginning years of my illness--many dreams, meaningful and alway remembered (which is kind of funny when your short term memory is struggling). I think they helped me through the acceptance process, as it sounds like your maybe.

    Were you a vivid dreamer pre-ME/CFS? I was...but they became more so with progression of illness. Wouldn't it be interesting if someday research finds that the dream center of our brains is effected by this illness?

    Hope you are feeling better and if it is a relapse, that you are moving out of it soon. Kerry

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  6. Usually I can walk around in my dreams and do things without getting tired and sick, unlike in reality. I do have dreams where I am trying to figure out what I am missing in school and how I will ever catch up, but it's never the school I'm really on hold from, but some strange combination of high school and university...

    I think I always had vivid dreams but I sleep longer at night now so I think they get more intense in the last couple of hours of sleep.

    It's probably a good thing if your mind is acknowledging CFS in your dreams, as long as you don't have to feel physically like you have CFS while you're asleep!

    D.

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  7. I love dreams (except for the terrifying ones). I just had a dream last night where someone asked me to run with them and I said I couldn't do that anymore. Like you, I took it as a good sign.

    Relapses are no fun! But your ideas about resting, resting, and more rest are good.

    I hope you start feeling better soon!

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  8. I am so glad that i found your blog!

    Ive had CFS for almost 1 year and every night have vivid dreams/nightmares, even if I just have a nap for 15 mins - 1/2 an hour I will have one.

    I have been really feeling down today due to waking up this morning exhausted after another night of vivid dreaming - my doctor has no idea why this is happening, so i felt comforted seeing I am not the only one.

    I have also had dreams in which i have CFS in them.

    Hope your feeling better, and thanks again Lee!
    I am now a dedicated follower :)

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